Our society is made of common values that create really big problems for people – problems that can hardly be solved. Some common values and ideals that the society is led by include sayings like, “Live in the moment and go with the flow” “Push out all the feelings that aren’t positive” “Your thoughts create your reality” “Follow your dreams” and so on and so forth.
If you are anything like me, you get annoyed by these “simple” life wisdom. This is because this kind of advice ignores how hard it is to create positive outcomes in life. It is my opinion that if you follow some of this advice, you end up ignoring problems in your life rather than confronting them head-on.
Here are some of the values that seem to be the norm of the society but are in reality ruining your life:
“Always be positive!” is a common saying by most life coaches. Lost your job? No worries. That’s an opportunity to explore your passions and find out other things that you’re good at. Broke up with your partner? It’s okay. There is plenty of fish in the sea and this is a good opportunity for you to work on yourself.
While there is something catchy and blissful about staying on the sunny side of life, the truth is, sometimes, and almost all the time, life sucks, and the healthiest thing you can do about it is to admit it. Be angry. Cry your eyes out and vent all you want. That is the first step of healing and moving on.
Most people measure their self-worth based on how much money they make, the kind of car they drive or the type and size of house they live in. The problem with this is that these people prioritize material indicators of wealth over values like honesty and integrity.
This cultural norm has led to problems in the society such as greed, corruption, mass murder over resources, etc. in the hopes of attaining material success. My advice to you is, stay in your lane. Live by your means.
As humans, we are wrong pretty much constantly, so if your metric for life success is to be always right, you’re in for a huge disappointment. The problem with valuing being right is that we never learn from our mistakes. We always find a way to rationalize the mistakes we make.
It is far more helpful to assume that you are ignorant and flawed because it keeps you unattached to superstitious or poorly informed beliefs and promotes a constant state of learning and growth.
We have a false belief that pleasure is the cause of happiness when in a real sense, research has proven that people who prioritize their energy in pursuit of pleasure end up more depressed and emotionally unstable.
Ask any drug addict how prioritizing pleasure worked out for them. Pleasure is a horrible value to prioritize. It distracts you from doing what really matters and if you take it too far you might end up damaging your physical and emotional health.
Pleasure is necessary for life, yes, but it isn’t by itself sufficient.