A Dance Of Deceit: The Untouchable Duo In a Presidency Built on Tricks

As the saying goes, “When two elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.” But in our Kenyan case, the two elephants are not fighting—they are laughing together as they trample upon the very Constitution they swore to uphold. It seems our esteemed leaders, President William Ruto, and his deputy Rigathi Gachagua, have discovered the ultimate cheat code to democracy. While we squabble over the circus surrounding one, we forget the elephant in the room: the Constitution binds them as one, and no amount of political acrobatics can separate the dynamic duo.

It’s an amusing sight, isn’t it? For a whole week, all of Kenya has been fixated on Gachagua’s antics, as if that’s the most pressing issue facing our nation. It’s almost like a magician’s trick—the DP waves his hand over here, distracting us, while the real business, the looting of our national coffers, happens over there. But can we blame them? As the old African proverb says, “A fool’s mind is at the mercy of his tongue.” We’ve allowed ourselves to be fooled, captivated by their showmanship, and they’ve gladly taken advantage.

Now, let’s talk about this obsession with impeaching the deputy president. Impeach one, and the other remains? Really? A little constitutional refresher would do the country some good. Article 147 of the Constitution clearly outlines the inseparability of the President and the Deputy. The Deputy President doesn’t serve at the pleasure of the people, nor even at the mercy of Parliament—they are one entity with the President. If the Deputy President goes down, so too does the President. “Two hands in the same pot cannot clean each other,” as our ancestors wisely said. You cannot sever the head from the body and expect the body to function.

Read Also: Ruto’s Wicked Harvest: How The Horticultural Bill Will Starve 3 Million Farmers And Feed His Foreign Masters

And here’s where it gets interesting—while we waste our breath debating whether Gachagua should be impeached, the real criminals, dressed in designer suits and armed with the Constitution in one hand and the keys to the vault in the other, continue their business of plundering. “When the drum beats, it’s not the drum we should listen to but the hand that beats it.” And make no mistake, it’s Ruto’s hand beating this drum, distracting us from the real issues plaguing our country.

In any functioning democracy, leaders are held accountable. But in our beloved Kenya, thieves protect each other. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship—each one knows where the other’s skeletons are buried. The Deputy shields the President from political fallout, and in return, the President turns a blind eye to the Deputy’s blatant disregard for decency. It’s as if they’ve entered into a blood pact of corruption, one that only the Supreme Court can unravel if someone has the guts to challenge it.

What we need now is not another impeachment charade but for the Supreme Court to step in and pronounce itself on this matter once and for all. Let’s get it straight—can one half of the presidency be tossed out while the other remains? It’s laughable that we are still debating this. Yet here we are, entertaining Gachagua’s theatrics, while Ruto smirks in the background, knowing that the focus is far away from the more pressing issues of the day—like how Kenyans are being systematically robbed blind.

The trick is simple: divide the masses, give them a spectacle, and while they’re distracted, slip the loot out the back door. And it’s working! Just last week, all attention was on Gachagua’s embarrassing utterances, while no one bothered to notice the quiet, steady siphoning of public funds to private accounts. As the ancient saying goes, “When you chase two rats, both will escape.” We’ve been chasing Gachagua, while Ruto has already escaped with the cheese.

The truth is, this is a well-rehearsed script, and the actors know their roles perfectly. Ruto plays the part of the composed, technocratic leader, while Gachagua is the bumbling sidekick we love to hate. It’s a good cop, bad cop routine designed to keep us distracted from the real issue: our government is a sinking ship, and they’re the ones drilling holes in the hull. “The ant that destroys the plant hides under its leaves.” They hide behind their offices, but we all know who’s really responsible for the rot.

Read Also: Dealer Ruto, No One Invited You: Kenyans Send Their Middle Finger to the UNGA79

Let’s be honest—this circus around the DP is a carefully orchestrated diversion. It’s all about keeping us occupied, so we don’t have time to ask the real questions: Why is the cost of living skyrocketing? Why is our healthcare system in shambles? Why are our schools underfunded? Why are we paying more in taxes while receiving less in services? But no, let’s focus on Gachagua’s buffoonery, because, as they well know, it’s easier to keep us laughing than thinking.

The presidency is unique in its construction—it’s an office that can’t be split like a loaf of bread. Impeaching one is as good as impeaching both. So, let’s stop fooling ourselves. If anyone seriously thinks we can get rid of Gachagua while keeping Ruto, they are more deluded than we thought. This is not a reality show where you vote someone off the island. This is a constitutional matter, and only the Supreme Court can give the final word on it.

Of course, the real kicker is that even if the Supreme Court were to rule on this, what would change? Nothing. Thieves will continue protecting each other. The looting will continue. The suffering will continue. And we, the Kenyan people, will continue to be the ones paying the price. As the old proverb goes, “When the fox preaches, beware of your geese.” The foxes are in power, and they’re preaching unity while they plunder our resources.

But let’s not get distracted by the noise. The truth is staring us in the face: this impeachment talk is nothing but a sideshow to take our attention away from the real issues. The country is burning, and we’re over here debating whether to throw out the arsonist’s accomplice. Meanwhile, the arsonist himself is still lighting fires. It’s time we woke up and demanded accountability from both of them. Because at the end of the day, “A bird and its nest are never far apart.” Ruto and Gachagua are two sides of the same corrupt coin, and the sooner we accept that, the better.

In the end, what we need isn’t more political drama, but a leader who genuinely cares about the people and upholds the Constitution. And if that means taking the whole presidency to court, so be it. We deserve clarity, justice, and an end to this never-ending charade. Let the Supreme Court pronounce itself on this matter, and let’s put this absurd debate to rest once and for all. Until then, let’s remember: “The frog does not jump in daylight for nothing.” When Ruto and Gachagua are causing this much of a distraction, you can bet there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes.

Read Also: Ruto’s Theater of Corruption: Preaching Water While Guzzling Wine