Get A DStv Decoder And Avoid Being Arrested In A Club During Census

The Interior Cabinet Secretary Fred Matiang’i has aroused confusion among football lovers who enjoy their favorite drink while watching the game.

Kenyans ought not to feel inconvenienced after all DStv has come in right on time to save the moment with the availability of decoders, as well as low subscription rates that will ensure your time with the pitch goes uninterrupted.

DStv monthly packages are convenient and more affordable than the amount one might have to part with to “oil” the policeman’s hand if arrested on the night of 24th.

CS Matiang’i has said that clubs will be closed at 5 PM to ensure people will be home for the Census exercise that will kick off at 6 pm and end at 6 am.

CS Matiang’i, however, did not say you cannot watch your favorite match of Arsenal versus Liverpool and that is why you ought to dash in the nick of time and get your DStv installed.

At only 7500 shillings on DStv Premium, you will be sorted and you can invite your boys over, after all, is it not the clubs that the CS has ordered closed?

What is more, DStv has just slashed the subscription charges with a huge margin to enable anyone to have access to DStv.

Those on DStv Premium will from 1^st of September pay 7,500 shillings from the current 7,900 shillings while those on DStv Compact Plus will 700 shillings less to 4,500 shillings from 5,200 shillings.

Customers on DStv Compact will pay 2,500 shillings from the current 3,200 shillings while those currently on DStv Family will part with 1,200 shillings from the current 1,900 shillings.

Customers on DStv Access will pay 900 shillings from 950 shillings, those on Premium+Asia Addon to pay 8,800 shillings from 9,200 shillings while those on Premium+French Addon will pay 11,100 shillings from 11,500 shillings.

Imagine being found in a club this Saturday, counted by the census guys by force then bundled into the infamous “Black Maria” to Industrial Area! Fanya hesabu.