When A Nicely-Dressed Lady Thought I Was A Phone Snatcher

It was on Tuesday morning. My client was having an event at Radisson Blu Hotel, Upperhill. Given that I stay along Thika Road, the only way to beat traffic was to use a nduthi.

I called my rider, David Ombui, a man from Kisii who speaks like he is screaming or practicing for a tenor 1 voice in an SDA choir. David is my “mtu wa mkono” when it comes to errands. He knows how to manoeuvre between murderous Nairobi Matatus and his fellow nduthi guys who always ride as if they want to commit suicide.

David came. I am not a fan of putting on suits, but that day I put on my best suit, handmade by a very experienced tailor. I “jumped” on the nduthi and David, with his high-pitched voice, asked, “Mdosi, ulilalaje?”. My wife would have answered that question better. We laughed, and he got to work.

On Thika Road, on the service lane, right opposite Garden City Mall, David slowed down. There was a nicely dressed lady waiting for a matatu. There was a line. I thought people had decided to vote for Sifuna mapema mapema. Now, when the nduthi slowed down, this lady literally threw away her phone, far away, and tightly held onto her handbag.

I thought she was having a seizure, only to realize that she thought my David, with his high-pitched voice, and I, Wafula, the son of Juma Sinino, were one of those Nairobi thieves who ride on dhuthis stealing “Lipa Pole Pole” phones from Kenyans who are already tired of Kasongo’s taxes.

I have been thinking about this a lot. What if the lady screamed “Mwiziii” and frustrated Kenyans looking of a motivation descended on me, together with my new suit that I was putting on for the first time? My people at home will be preparing for a funeral right now, and villagers would be busy enjoying three meals a day at my Father’s house. In Luhyaland, when there is a funeral, villagers have to eat a balanced diet meal from morning to evening, every day.

We need to fix the insecurity in Nairobi, and this won’t happen through dimples. Khabusie!

Read Also: The Kenyan Government Seems Overwhelmed With The Increasing Insecurity Across The Country At All Social Levels