Pointers To Note About Having Sex On The First Date

By Lizwa Sally

The essence of going out on a date is to get to know and spend time with each other. Fingers crossed you enjoy the interaction after and not because the man has hopes or thinks they deserve to get laid which is usually the end game for most men, not so?

A woman should have sex after a date if it’s something she will enjoy purely because she wants and not because she was made to feel indebted. Unless you have made the personal choice to hold out until you hit a specific milestone for your own reasons, you are under no obligation to keep your sexuality on lockdown.

Many women refrain from first-date sex to avoid being “tainted.”

You would want to figure out what is making you question having first-date sex. Internal and external expectations, standards you hold yourself to, and experiences such as being slut-shamed are just some of the many factors that influence the way you think about yourself sexually.

Taking a moment to ask yourself a few questions before going on dates may help you figure out your feelings on whether you want to indulge on the first date.

Ask yourself:

• Are past experiences a determinant of decisions, you are to make going on forward?

• Have you set personal guidelines for your own sexuality?

• What are your beliefs about sex?

These questions are meant to help you navigate the decision you make in case you are up for first-date sex or not.

READ: What Is Killing Our Men During Sex?

Now that you have listed and addressed your opinions towards sex on the first date, it is time to clear up other factors that might be making you take a step back. Worry or fear that your date won’t respect you after should never be the reason you keep your clothes on. If you think this person is incapable of that, do you really want to sleep with them? One thing that should really stop you, if anything, should be your comfort level with this person.

What about the idea that your date will lose interest in you once you have had sex? In case that happens, chances are they were not emotionally interested in you. If you are looking for more than a fling, better you learn that now than later, before you are invested.

All that said, if you are considering first-date sex and not so much about the potential you see in them in a long-term partner, do not deprive yourself for the sake of waiting. Go for it and enjoy it, girl!

READ: Kenyan Men Warned Against The Use Of Viagra

About the author

Lizwa Sally is a journalist and a storyteller. She believes that writing is the silent spoken feeling that comes out just when you need it and I’m all about that. Engaging you in writing that not only entertains and educates you but also resonates with you.