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Genuine Success Is Very Painful Because Very Few Of Us Are Capable Of Doing What Is Needed To Achieve Success

BY Steve Biko Wafula · June 10, 2025 08:06 am

Success is not only a destination, but also an ongoing battle that tests the very core of a person’s values, resilience, and faith. The poster you’ve shared outlines a truth that often goes unsaid in glamorous portrayals of achievement: success is painful. That pain is not just physical; it’s emotional, spiritual, and deeply mental. It’s the pain of waking up early when your body aches for rest, the pain of showing up day after day when nothing seems to be working, and the pain of doing what’s right even when no one is watching. But that pain is also the refining fire through which greatness is forged.

Consistency is one of the most underestimated ingredients of success. In a world obsessed with hacks, shortcuts, and viral moments, consistency feels boring. But it is consistency that compounds results. A report by James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, shows that small daily improvements lead to extraordinary long-term results. Success isn’t built in days of inspiration, but in the discipline to show up even when motivation fades. People often quit not because the goal was too far, but because they stopped taking the next small step.

Patience is equally crucial. In a 2018 Harvard Business Review analysis on entrepreneurship, it was found that most successful startups took at least 7 years to break even. Yet, we live in a world of instant gratification where delays are seen as denials. Patience is the courage to trust the process when the results are invisible. It’s the willingness to plant seeds knowing you may not eat the fruit for a long time. Pain emerges here, in the long waiting, in seeing others seemingly race ahead while your vision takes time to unfold.

Being reachable, in both attitude and accessibility, opens the doors to mentorship, feedback, and opportunity. Successful people don’t exist in silos; they remain connected. They keep learning. Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, two of the world’s most successful men, often emphasize the value of listening and staying open to new ideas. Being unreachable breeds arrogance; being reachable fuels relevance. But the painful part of being reachable is vulnerability — being open to criticism, correction, and even rejection.

Read Also: How Business Owners Can Foolproof Their Finances For Long-Term Success

Self-control is the fortress that keeps chaos from consuming progress. The ability to say “no” — to distractions, to temptations, to impulses — is painful, especially when the easier option brings immediate pleasure. Yet, according to the American Psychological Association, self-control correlates strongly with success in academics, relationships, and finances. Choosing to save instead of spend, to work instead of scroll, to speak calmly instead of shouting — these small acts of control are victories that accumulate over time. They hurt in the moment but heal in the long run.

Self-sacrifice is perhaps the most misunderstood component of success. To build something meaningful, something must be laid down. This could be comfort, popularity, or even time with loved ones. Every Olympic athlete, for instance, has sacrificed years of social life, pleasure, and convenience. A study on Olympic gold medalists by the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that nearly all of them described their journey as “lonely” and “sacrificial.” The path to the podium is not walked with a crowd.

Self-discipline binds everything together. Without it, consistency collapses, patience expires, and self-control evaporates. The U.S. Army War College calls discipline “the cornerstone of leadership” because without it, nothing endures. Discipline forces you to act even when emotion and comfort scream otherwise. It is the muscle that lifts you when you’re tired and the compass that keeps you heading north when everything inside you wants to drift. But discipline is painful — it means choosing structure over spontaneity and order over ease.

Being prayerful invites divine guidance into human limitation. Prayer is not weakness; it is a declaration of dependence on a higher wisdom. Many successful leaders across industries, from tech to politics, have testified to the power of spiritual discipline. Oprah Winfrey, for instance, credits prayer and meditation as foundational to her focus and clarity. Being prayerful humbles you, reminds you of your fragility, and demands moments of stillness in a world that rewards constant noise. And in that stillness, often, answers come.

Gratitude might seem soft, but it’s a psychological weapon against despair and entitlement. The University of California–Davis conducted a study showing that people who kept gratitude journals were 25% more likely to make progress toward their goals. Gratitude sharpens your focus on what’s working, rather than obsessing over what’s lacking. But being grateful while in pain is difficult. It’s painful to thank God during seasons of failure or to celebrate progress when bills are unpaid. Yet, gratitude shifts the atmosphere of your mind from scarcity to abundance.

Perseverance is painful by nature because it requires enduring storms, silence, and setbacks. The road to success is littered with disappointment. A Stanford University study shows that 92% of people never achieve their New Year’s goals. Why? Not because they were lazy, but because they lacked perseverance. It’s not about starting strong but finishing faithfully. Success doesn’t knock once — it often waits behind the door until it’s knocked 100 more times. Perseverance means knocking, even bleeding, until the door opens.

Courage is doing the hard thing, even when scared. It’s confronting fear, not escaping it. Whether it’s quitting a toxic job to chase your purpose, standing up to injustice, or investing in an idea no one else believes in, courage defines the trajectory of greatness. But courage isn’t loud. Often, it’s a quiet, trembling decision made in solitude. And that is painful — because bravery costs you comfort, predictability, and sometimes even safety. Yet, history favors the brave, not the perfect, but the persistent.

The most underrated principle of long-term success is the ability to never make decisions while emotionally charged. Emotional decisions are reactive; wise decisions are reflective. In moments of anger, frustration, or excitement, we often overestimate or underestimate risks. A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making found that high emotional states lead to significantly worse decision outcomes. Successful people pause. They process. They respond — they don’t react. The pain here is learning to wait when your heart is racing, and your mouth is ready to speak.

Why is success so painful? Because it asks you to kill your lower self to reach your higher self. It demands saying no to many good things so you can say yes to the best. It requires swimming against the current, walking alone at times, and being misunderstood. It means failure, ridicule, exhaustion, and often, starting over.

Pain is the price tag of purpose. Pain strips away the superficial and tests your sincerity. It exposes whether you’re chasing applause or impact. It teaches humility, deepens empathy, and builds stamina. The pain of discipline, rejection, and delayed gratification crafts an inner strength that shortcuts never offer.

In truth, everyone wants success. But few are willing to be forged by the fire it requires. Success cannot be faked — the pain will reveal the pretenders and polish the prepared.

So when you are tired, broke, broken, and ready to quit, remember that pain is part of the price. Not a punishment, but a process. Not a curse, but a chisel.

And though it may cost you everything, success — real, enduring success — repays with a legacy that no comfort zone ever could provide.

Read Also: Integrity At The Helm: How John Gachora’s Ethical Compass Steers NCBA’s Success

Steve Biko is the CEO OF Soko Directory and the founder of Hidalgo Group of Companies. Steve is currently developing his career in law, finance, entrepreneurship and digital consultancy; and has been implementing consultancy assignments for client organizations comprising of trainings besides capacity building in entrepreneurial matters.He can be reached on: +254 20 510 1124 or Email: info@sokodirectory.com

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