Queens Of Selective Amnesia, Avoiding Matatus But Want To Ride Free

Dear Esteemed Queens of Selective Amnesia,

Greetings from the Ministry of Common Sense and Completed Transactions.

We need to talk about a certain behavior that doesn’t sit well with me, and other Kenyans of goodwill.

Lately, there’s been a rising trend in our beloved cities where someone orders a ride on Uber or Bolt, or any other, enjoys air conditioning, curated playlists, smooth cornering, free stories from the driver, and premium door-to-door service… then suddenly develops financial allergies at the destination.

“My phone battery died.”

“My app is hanging.”

“My transfer is coming.”

“My bank is reflecting.”

“My spirit is willing.”

Or some just choose to fall asleep. Honestly… How is that even possible? Some even become so violent that you wonder whether they have been planning for this all their life.

Dear passenger,

This is not a charity safari. This is not a “Pay Later, God Will Provide” fellowship. This is business.

The driver who picked you up did not wake up at 5 a.m. to pursue vibes. He fueled the car. He paid for data. He is battling traffic, potholes, and the existential crisis of Nairobi roundabouts. He is at work. Just like you are at work, when you expect your salary to reflect without stories.

Imagine finishing your shift and your employer says, “We loved your energy today. Payment will come spiritually.” You would organize a protest.

These drivers are not your cousins. They are not your ex. They are not your situationship. They are professionals providing a service. When you tap “Confirm Ride,” you are not accepting a free trial of transportation. You are entering into a contract. A grown-up, adult, binding agreement that ends with one simple ritual: payment.

If the fare is too high, it’s okay. There is no shame in boarding a matatu. The matatu will not ask for ratings. It will not send you a trip summary. It will not say, “How was your ride?” It will simply move, with vibes included in the fare.

But when you choose a ride-hailing service, choose responsibility too.

Let us retire the drama at drop-off: No fake calls. No dramatic searches through empty handbags. No sudden tears. No “Can I send tomorrow?”

Because tomorrow, the driver still has fuel to buy. Insurance to pay. A family to feed. Let us restore dignity to the dashboard. Order the ride. Enjoy the ride. Pay for the ride. Or take a matatu.

With love, laughter, and a fully paid fare,

A Concerned Citizen Who Believes in Completing Transactions

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