Dear Kenyans, It is An Auction House, Not A Legislative Body

When an African mum becomes frustrated, humiliated and embarrassed by the child she gave birth to, she often says, “If I knew you would be this disastrous, I would have pressed my legs together so that you come out dead.”

2017 was a year that will always remain embedded in the minds of the majority of Kenyans. That is the year that Kenya had the longest electioneering period in history. The country had two elections. Violence erupted too. People died. Children as little as six months old were clobbered to death.

Kenyans woke up in the wee hours of the morning. By 5 am, long queues had formed at various polling stations. “Tano tena!” some shouted. Although the majority voted blindly, as always, without considering the character of the person they wanted led them, some voted to hope for a new dawn.

The elections were over. Some were sworn in ‘legally’ while some swore themselves in. it was time to ‘serve the people’ as the ‘waheshimiwas’ would call it. It did not take long before Kenyans realized that it was a scam. A wave of massive public looting took over the country and those in leadership positions looted like there was no tomorrow.

When Kenyans were electing Members of Parliament, they did not know that they were electing hungry wolves, hyenas, and pigs who would ravage anything at the expense of the voter and the taxpayer. The current parliament is not a parliament, as veteran politician Martha Karua puts it, it is an ‘auction house’ and I will tell you why.

Two months ago, the Cabinet Secretary in charge of Interior Security, Dr. Fred Matiang’i, made a revelation that shocked the nation. The fiery CS said that there were millions of bags of poisonous sugar in the country. In fact, he said that the sugar had the presence of mercury and copper, an announcement that sent chills down the spines of many. If the revelations were true, then Kenyans were slowly dying of poison injected into their bodies by themselves in for of sugar.

As usual, the politicians, in this case, Members of Parliament, took up the matter. It merged that there were companies that had imported duty-free sugar into the country and that the sugar was not fit for human consumption. A committee in Charge of Agriculture and that of Trade took up the matter. Sittings were organized and the ‘probe’ on the matter kicked off.

It later turned out that the committees are not made up of MPs but auctioneers who were available to the highest bidder. There were allegations that some members of parliament had been compromised by the ‘sugar barons’ to write a shoddy report, one that will show that the ‘poisonous’ sugar had no poison. It was like ‘sugarcoating the bitter poisonous sugar.’

The report was prepared and it was one of the dumbest reports to have ever been prepared in a Kenyan parliament. In fact, the Leader of Majority in the National Assembly, Aden Duale, admitted saying the report that had been preparing could not even fit to be tabled in a County Assembly.

The committee was ordered to probe the matter afresh and come up with a conclusive report. Kenyans thought that this time round, the report would be tangible and reliable. But the vicious, hungry and corrupt MPs could not let that happen. It emerged that some MPs were paid between 10,000 and 30,000 shillings to ‘shoot down the report’.

Now, here is where the sad drama comes in. Our dear ‘honorables’ earn more than 1,000,000 shillings including allowances. Despite all that money, the corrupt fellows had the audacity to receive 10,000 shillings to ‘kill Kenyans’ with poisonous sugar.

Dear Kenyans, I can see you ranting that it is not the #HouseOfMps anymore but the #HouseOfPigs. These pigs, lest we forget, were elected by us. Given that we were created with the shortest memory in the world, shorter than that of a warthog, we shall still vote the same pigs in.

In fact, if we followed the rule of law, the current parliament should be dissolved and we go into an election and get ourselves a new crop of leaders is not a net set of thieves. We cannot avoid waiting for four more years.