Give Your Partner Reasons to Trust You in That Marriage

By Lynnet Okumu / Published June 25, 2021 | 3:47 pm




KEY POINTS

Maintaining trust in marriage is a personal responsibility to each of you. Take an individual initiative to do things that will not give your partner reasons to start doubting you.


Marriage Relationship

We all know that for any relationship to work out smoothly then there has to be trust between the people involved. Whether a group or just two individuals like in a marriage.

Trust could be specified as the backbone of marriage. Many have been broken after one or both the partners felt insecure in their relationships and ended up quitting for peace of mind. It is the primary connective tissue of a relationship because it fosters a sense of safety and healthy growth in a relationship.

According to a study carried out by University of Portsmouth researchers in the UK (2019), Men are twice likely to consider themselves to be good at lying and getting away with it. The study also established that they prefer to lie face to face than via text messages or social media platforms.

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Everyone has lied at some point in their life and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all encounter situations that make us feel the need to lie about absolutely everything. However, lying could be so troublesome and you might end up being caught in your lie. As much as people believe that lying is just a common thing in a relationship, it doesn’t mean some of these whopper’s cant to be damaging.

According to a recent study, majorly men do not come clean to their partners about almost everything but especially their salaries which is always a major cause of alarm for many marriages.

Okay, the whole issue is about being an open book to your partner about everything you do. That’s the essence of marriage because you came together as one the moment you both said, ‘yes I do.’

This is why you always advised taking your time before embarking on this journey. And by the time you’re making this lifetime decision, it means you’re ready to commit to the other. Commitment cannot come without honesty.

The moment one of the partners realizes there is no honesty in that marriage then he/she will cease trusting the other. And the moment this happens then it will never be business as usual.

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We’ve heard of or even seen couples investigating their partners behind their back because they feel something is being hidden from them. Now when you reach this dangerous level then you are not sure whether you still want to be in that marriage. You might be there physically but hurting emotionally. This could cause psychological problems, especially for those who are afraid of confronting their partners about their insecure feelings.

Having a feeling that your partner is not being honest with you might make you believe that you can do better without him. This is where a cascade of not committing starts. Instead of cherishing your partner, you’ll be pushed to trash him/her and instead of building gratitude, there’ll be increased resentment. You’ll stop sacrificing for your marriage and end up escalating conflicts at the slightest provocations.

The issue of 50/50 sharing among working couples has especially disclosed that the couples are not giving the real figures that they earn, mostly men.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy 2018, national surveys show that 15% of married women and 25% of married men are not honest with their partners. And as more women begin working away from home, the chances of engaging in behaviors that will make them dishonest increase.

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You cannot say that being dishonest in a relationship is common, so couples have to get used to it. It damages and it’s an issue that needs to be addressed. To start with, the couples should evaluate themselves and solve their issues before it reaches the red zone.

If trust has been broken then sit down as a couple and find ways of bringing it back, however hard it can be.

I would say that you also need to be very careful with a dishonest partner especially if you’ve talked about it but they could still do it. It could be dangerous because he or she might end up infecting you with sexually transmitted diseases, or HIV, in case it’s an infidelity issue, or even lure you into a trap that will eliminate you or bring down your plans.

The oneness should make you work together and build your trust. You can still work it out and even though it will never be the same as it was before. A relationship is worth saving especially if you have children together since they might end up being the victims of your mistrust.

There are some cases when couples open up and tell their partners they are aware they’ve been doing things behind their back but only warn them to keep boundaries. I don’t know how this works but if at all it does for you then don’t be afraid to tell him/her that they should not cross the boundary that might compromise your commitment.

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Table your worries. Agree as a couple and do it your way. Sit down and discuss how you’ll handle finances in that marriage. Do not emulate what you see other couples doing because it will never work for you.

You might have to talk about trust issues more than once because a serious compromise is not typically fixed after one talk.

Remember that maintaining trust in marriage is a personal responsibility to each of you. Take an individual initiative to do things that will not give your partner reasons to start doubting you. When you give you get. Trust is earned.






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