Your Friend Wants To Borrow Money? How To Say No

By Lynnet Okumu / Published August 31, 2022 | 4:50 pm

Ever been in a situation where you are short of words when a friend or family member asked to borrow money? The last thing you want is to offend the other person, but in some cases, you’re not going to give them any money anyway.

Unfortunately, you might be feeling uneasy because you don’t quite know how to manage the situation.

I had a round table conversation with the Soko Directory investment company team, where a section of them said that while there are exceptions, most people who ask to borrow money do so with a sense of hesitancy.

The unfortunate circumstance is that borrowing money is uncomfortable for both parties. The person who is asking is reluctant and embarrassed to do so because money is tied to our self-worth.

“If you are unable to lend the money but wish you could, then show empathy to the other person and acknowledge the difficult situation, they’re in” One of the team members Dorine Mukhongo said.

“Next, offer an apology that you wish you could help him or her but unfortunately at this time you can’t. Then follow up with the reason why you can’t help. Finally, wish the person good luck.” He added.

Other team members also had the following suggestions to give.

Tell them honestly that you don’t loan friends, relatives

If you’re simply unwilling to lend the cash, it’s okay to just be totally honest, Yvonne Ambete who is Soko Directory’s Office administrator said.

“Tell the person that you have a policy of not lending money to friends and family because you don’t want any uncomfortable feelings between the two of you, she added.

Or, if the person borrowed money from you in the past and didn’t return it, Yvonne said it’s fine to gently refresh their memory, without being rude and obnoxious.

“You could say that you would hate for that person to be in further debt to you,” she said.

Don’t ask them why they need the money

According to Gertrude Matayo, a journalist working with Soko Directory, regardless of your approach, do not ask the person why they need a loan.

“You don’t want to add to their embarrassment,” she said. “Most likely he or she will volunteer the information.”

She further added that at the end of the day, proper etiquette is not making someone feel bad. So, whatever you say, remember to be kind and gentle to the person who is seeking the money.

Remember that you are not obligated to provide an explanation as to why you are not giving it away. Just keep it simple. Like you could say, ‘I know this is a tough time and I am so sorry I am unable to help.’

This, of course, can be more complicated if the person asking is someone you care for, but if you don’t have the extra funds or simply prefer not to lend the money, Gertrude said it’s fine to politely decline.

There’s nothing to regret about

For John Kachibo, the company’s research analyst, you should not live with any regret because the decision is yours to make.

“You have nothing to feel bad about in this situation. You work hard for your money, so you should never feel obligated to give out loans to friends and family, especially if you’re not sure they’ll pay you back.” Said, John.

If the other person makes you feel guilty for not giving them a loan. That’s a character flaw on their part. No matter how close your relationship is, you’re not their personal bank.

Mr. John concluded that as an individual, you must stand your ground and be proud of yourself for making the decision that’s best for you. At the end of the day, you just must follow your instincts.