Divorced Or Separated Parents Need To Do Better During Holidays

My parents split up when I was around 7 years old, my father remarried immediately my mum choose the single life and they lived separately, Christmas is a time for great joy, I always found it stressful up to now.

My mom would want me to have Christmas with her I felt duty-bound to be with her because my dad already had another family and she would be alone with friends or extended family. I always felt like she needed me but equally, I wanted to spend time with my dad, my stepmom and my other siblings. They were a fun bunch I always felt left out when I was with my mum and they traveled for vacation.

The feeling of being torn ruined every Christmas. As I grew up, I assumed that things would change. But no, they got worse. It went from being decided to having to decide for myself knowing that one of my parents would be heartbroken.

Relationships break down and people remarry and circumstances change. Ask your child what they want. Don’t make them feel guilty, and always, no matter if your heart is breaking, act like whatever time you get with them is enough. Cry alone, never in front of them. If possible, talk to your co-parent and try to work out a system of alternative years with the kids, spend it together, or split up the day.

Divorce has a lot of Struggles emotionally and mentally on the children. I think I am due for a few therapy sessions but here are some of the most common struggles.

Shifting between houses

The to and fro constantly packing is such a hassle; imagine wanting to wear your favorite t-shirt then you remember oh snap it is a mum!

Your Christmas is always confusing

Deciding who you want to spend Christmas with or being decided for is always hard, knowing that you won’t see one parent on Christmas day.

Tug of war between parents

Each parent constantly trying to prove that they are better than the other, so much competition in gifts and how they treat you.

Fighting through the child

“Tell your mother I said” or “tell your father” emotionally it is tiring and frustrating.

Asking about the other parent

You never know what to say when they ask about each other, it is so confusing. Once I told my dad about what my mum was up to, he texted her about it for like five years my mother haunted me with it.

Tension overseeing each other

This is usually when they meet or functions that they both have to be there, Trust me my visiting days in high school were filled with awkwardness and tension.

Story By Kathleen Francisca