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Mene Mene Tekel: A Divine Audit For The Hustler-In-Chief

BY Juma · November 15, 2024 11:11 am

KEY POINTS

Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin is essentially God's audit report for King Belshazzar of Babylon: "Your days are numbered, you’ve been weighed on the scales and found wanting, and your kingdom will be divided." Could there be a more poetic call for accountability in the land of mambo ni matatu governance?

Kenya’s Catholic bishops have issued what may well be their boldest sermon in recent memory—calling out President William Ruto as a “liar” and a “thief” who hasn’t kept his promises.

If politics were theater, this would be the climactic act, and the bishops just handed the scriptwriters a Biblical twist: Mene Mene Tekel—the ominous Aramaic words of divine judgment from the Book of Daniel.

For those needing a refresher from Sunday School, Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin is essentially God’s audit report for King Belshazzar of Babylon: “Your days are numbered, you’ve been weighed on the scales and found wanting, and your kingdom will be divided.” Could there be a more poetic call for accountability in the land of mambo ni matatu governance?

Read Also: Taxed Like the Wealthy, Served Like the Poor: The Unseen Price Of Kenya’s Broken Tax System

Mene: Your Promises Have Been Counted

The bishops’ accusations have exposed what seems to be a divine abacus counting the promises that Candidate Ruto made on the campaign trail: lowering the cost of living, empowering the hustlers, and ending corruption. But alas, the numbers don’t add up. The hustler narrative has now been reduced to hustling Kenyans out of their patience, and the high cost of living feels like a permanent member of the Cabinet.

Instead of hustlers thriving, we’re all busy calculating how to make ends meet. Meanwhile, the government seems preoccupied with creating taxes so innovative they deserve a global patent. Promises, promises—yet here we are, wondering if we can tax the clouds for a little rain.

Tekel: You’ve Been Weighed and Found Wanting

Here’s where things get heavy—literally. The bishops have placed Ruto on the scales of moral leadership and found him lighter than a packet of unga in today’s economy. Forget the lofty rhetoric about being a God-fearing leader; the reality on the ground is that Kenya’s faithful are praying harder, not for spiritual salvation, but for affordable school fees, decent housing, and cheaper fuel.

Ruto’s endless invocation of divine guidance has many Kenyans wondering if heaven has a VIP line for presidents because the rest of us aren’t feeling particularly blessed. If leadership is about servant-hood, as he often preaches, someone might need to remind him that a servant doesn’t bill their master for every drop of water.

Read Also: Western Kenya Restless As Ruto And Raila Sideline the Populous Region In Their Broad-Based Government

Upharsin: Is the Kingdom Cracking?

And so we arrive at the final word: Upharsin, the dividing of the kingdom. While it’s not Babylon’s walls crumbling this time, the Kenyan spirit feels dangerously fractured. Public trust is eroding faster than the moral high ground in politics, and even the Catholic Church—an institution typically reluctant to take sides—is sounding the alarm.

The bishops are not alone. Social media streets are awash with memes likening the government to a shop selling dreams on credit. Meanwhile, opposition leaders, smelling blood in the water, are sharpening their knives for what they see as divine retribution.

A Biblical Reckoning?

As Ruto defends his divine calling, one can’t help but imagine him responding to the bishops with a Hustler Remix of Belshazzar’s story: “God placed me here for a reason, and that reason is to be misunderstood.” But the bishops have spoken, and their words have carried the weight of moral authority, leaving many Kenyans asking: If mene mene tekel was the audit of Babylon, what would Kenya’s national scales reveal?

Perhaps it’s time for Ruto to stop invoking divine approval and start delivering tangible results. After all, even a hustler-in-chief can’t outrun Biblical arithmetic.

Read Also: It Is Unfair For Judiciary To Reduce The Salary Of Medical Interns By Over 100% Yet Ruto Is The Highest Paid Incompetent President In The World

Juma is an enthusiastic journalist who believes that journalism has power to change the world either negatively or positively depending on how one uses it. (020) 528 0222 or Email: info@sokodirectory.com

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