The Gospel According To Ruto: Turning Water Into Billion-Shilling Churches

Kenya has not just lost direction — it has hired a blind man to drive the bus, removed the wheels, and anointed the steering wheel with olive oil. We are now passengers in a national miracle tour where logic is a sin, arithmetic is heresy, and questioning the President is blasphemy punishable by spiritual guilt-tripping.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are being told — with the audacity of a choir boy caught stealing communion wine — that President William Ruto, whose official salary is KES 1.4 million a month, is building a KES 1.2 billion church out of his own pocket.

Yes. You read that right. One man, on a government salary, is apparently financing a sanctuary more expensive than some county budgets. And he expects you to believe it with the same faith used to believe in burning bushes and parting seas.

Let’s break this miracle down, shall we?

Even if Ruto never ate ugali again, never paid school fees, never bought diesel for his convoy, never tithed a shilling to any of the 120 churches he visits weekly, and never paid tax — it would still take him over 70 years to “save” that kind of money. Seventy years of fasting, no nyama choma, and sleeping under a mango tree.

And yet here we are, expected to believe he pulled KES 1.2 billion from his coat pocket like some prosperity gospel magician. The man has either found the lost formula for turning maize into money or is printing miracles from a State House ATM.

This isn’t faith — this is fraud in church clothes. And we, the people, are being played like tambourines on a Sunday morning.

This isn’t just an insult to our intelligence — it’s abuse of office wearing a clerical collar. Public land. Public machinery. State-sponsored praise songs. A “personal” project funded by an entire government. Jesus wept — and then probably filed a court petition.

Mr. President, this isn’t generosity. It’s gaslighting. It’s corruption with a halo. It’s lying to a nation that is bleeding under heavy taxes, borrowing to survive, and burying its youth because of unemployment and depression.

Kenyans, how long will we clap for lies? How long will we fund golden pulpits while children study under trees? How long will we let leaders hide theft behind Bible verses?

Call him out. Loudly. Relentlessly. Sacrilegious waste is still waste. Abuse of office is still abuse — even when it’s wrapped in scripture and launched with holy water.

We didn’t elect a Bishop. We elected a President. Let him lead a nation, not a congregation.

Read Also: THE CHURCH OF UNEMPLOYMENT: How Africa’s Leaders Built GOD TEMPLES INSTEAD OF FACTORIES