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User Manual For Men: What Every Man Needs To Know Urgently

BY Steve Biko Wafula · August 26, 2025 03:08 pm

Welcome to life, gentlemen. The brochure you were promised doesn’t exist. Nobody hands you a neatly typed manual on how to survive as a man. Instead, you get tossed into a pit where the rules are whispered behind closed doors, and the loudest lesson is simple: be strong or be stepped on.

Banks, those glassy temples of capitalism, don’t care about your charming smile or your degree in “I Tried My Best.” They respect one thing only—money. A man with ten shillings is a nuisance. A man with ten million is “Sir, would you like coffee while we process your loan?” In Kenya alone, over 80% of bank loans go to the wealthiest 20% of clients. The poor get brochures; the rich get boardroom meetings.

Society isn’t kinder. People admire discipline, not excuses. Walk into a room, fit, well-dressed, shoulders back—you command attention. Walk in sloppy, overweight, looking like you just lost a wrestling match with depression, and watch how invisible you become. Don’t believe it? Ask yourself why “gym influencers” attract millions of followers while the broke philosopher barely gets three likes.

Companies? They are mercenaries with logos. They don’t reward loyalty; they reward skill. You could work there ten years, bringing tea for everyone, being “the nice guy.” Then comes a skilled new graduate with sharper ideas, and boom—you’re replaced. In fact, a 2024 PwC report found that over 40% of firms in Africa replaced long-serving staff with younger, more skilled talent to cut costs. That’s the corporate jungle: evolve or be eaten.

So, here’s your first bitter pill: stop expecting fairness. The world isn’t a church fundraiser—it’s a survival show where nobody claps for effort. Nice men, the ones who live to please others, don’t get rewarded. They get used. They’re the unpaid interns of relationships and friendships. Their kindness becomes currency for others, but never for themselves.

Shy men? Life doesn’t even notice them. They wait quietly, hoping someone will recognize their potential. But the truth is simple: if you don’t announce yourself, the world assumes you don’t exist. Ask yourself—when was the last time a CEO promoted the silent worker in the back of the room over the loud, confident one at the front? Exactly.

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Weak men? They suffer the most. Not only do they get ignored—they get abused. Weakness is like blood in the water; predators sniff it out instantly. Bullies in schools, bosses in offices, and sometimes even partners in relationships—all exploit weakness. Statistics back this up: men with lower economic and social status are three times more likely to face domestic or workplace abuse. Weakness is an invitation to be used.

And now the uncomfortable truth: ruthless men, the ones society claims to hate, are the ones it secretly respects. They don’t beg—they demand. They don’t wait for a seat—they bring their own chair. Everyone pretends to despise their arrogance, but watch how fast people follow their lead. History is full of ruthless men remembered with grudging respect, while the “nice men” remain nameless.

Every parent dreams of a strong son, not one who writes tearful Facebook posts about how unfair life is. Every child longs for a strong father, not one too fragile to stand when life throws a punch. Every sister wants a brother who can shield, not one who hides. Every woman wants a husband who can hold the line when storms hit, not one who collapses at the first sign of stress. Strength is the common denominator.

Strength, however, isn’t just physical. It’s holistic. Physical strength tells the world you have discipline. Mental strength tells you you have focus. Financial strength tells you that you have options. A man lacking all three is like a phone with no battery—looks fine on the outside, but is completely useless.

But what do most men do instead? They distract themselves. They debate endlessly online about “modern women” while their rent is overdue. They argue about politics but can’t manage their own lives. They call life unfair while refusing to train, learn, or build. As if hashtags will pay bills.

Want proof? Look at unemployment in Kenya. By 2025, over 6.7 million youth are jobless, yet many spend more time on TikTok dances than upgrading their skills. Companies aren’t ignoring them out of cruelty—they’re ignoring them because they bring nothing to the table. In this economy, being weak isn’t just sad; it’s suicidal.

Life is a brutal audition. Every man is on stage, and the judges are banks, society, companies, women, children, and history. If you don’t perform, you’re cut. If you don’t stand out, you’re forgotten. No sympathy, no second chance. Just the cold hand of replacement.

Yes, it’s unfair. Yes, it’s exhausting. But what’s the alternative? Crying into your pillow? Life won’t pause for you. The only option is to adapt—outwork, outthink, and outlast. The world respects results, not excuses.

A strong man isn’t the one who avoids storms; he’s the one who learns to dance in the rain while building a roof. Weak men wait for sunshine; strong men build umbrellas.

So, if you still believe being endlessly soft, apologetic, and “nice” will earn you respect, good luck. You’re not in a Disney cartoon—you’re in a jungle. In jungles, rabbits don’t negotiate with lions.

Strength is your only currency. Weakness is bankruptcy. And the economy of life has no bailout for bankrupt men.

Nobody remembers the man who almost tried. Nobody writes books about the man who waited politely. But history salutes the men who fought, built, and conquered.

So what must you do? Accept the rules. Bend them if you must, break them if you can, but above all—play to win. Complaining is a hobby for losers.

Build your body, because weakness is a liability. Build your mind, because ignorance is slavery. Build your wallet, because poverty is humiliation.

And when you’ve built all three, the noise of the world fades. The insults don’t sting, the distractions don’t tempt, and the opinions don’t matter. Because strength is the ultimate silencer.

The manual of manhood was never missing. It was just hidden in plain sight: Be strong, or be erased.

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Steve Biko is the CEO OF Soko Directory and the founder of Hidalgo Group of Companies. Steve is currently developing his career in law, finance, entrepreneurship and digital consultancy; and has been implementing consultancy assignments for client organizations comprising of trainings besides capacity building in entrepreneurial matters.He can be reached on: +254 20 510 1124 or Email: info@sokodirectory.com

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