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How Boy Child has Lost all Bets Since the World Cup Kicked Off

BY Juma · June 20, 2018 05:06 am

This year’s World Cup has not been good for me if you asked. I don’t know whether the village witch resurrected and is working hard to make sure that I don’t reap any ‘tangible’ profits from this World Cup. The man died 10 years ago but I still have a feeling that his elder son, who never loved the shape of my nose, inherited his father’s witchcraft.

When the world cup season kicked off, I had all the expectations of reaping thousands from sports betting right from the opening match between Russia and Saudi Arabia.

Am not a person who takes loans from mobile loans apps but this time I had to. I installed the Tala app and despite their high-interest-rate of 15 percent per month, I took a whopping 15,000 shillings.

I used 5,000 shillings to renew my DStv subscription. I did not want to rely on the promise that had been made by NTV that they would be airing the world cup. Being among the few ‘working people’ in the open-air estate, I did not want going at my neighbor’s to watch the much-awaited tournament.

My SportPesa app was ready. In fact, I cleared all the data so that when the world cup kicks off, it would find ‘enough room’. Not to mention, I had money, 10,000 shillings to be specific. I banned all soap operas in the house. The lady of the house loves the ‘Waking Up With You’ on Citizen TV, we had a handshake and agreed that she streams her soaps on her phone as I ‘look for money’. She agreed.

The first match was between Russia and Saudi Arabia. My heart told me to place my bet for Russia but just as I was about to place my bet, the lady of the house said, “I hope haupangi kuekelea Russia” (I hope you are not planning to bet for Russia.”

“Kwa nini?” (Why?) I asked.

She adjusted herself like one of those opinion shapers I see on TV every Thursday, cleared her throat and said, “Russia has not won any game for the last eight months. What makes you think they will win this one? In fact, they did not qualify for the world cup. Wanacheza tu kwa sababu ni wenyeji,” she said.

The lady of the house convinced me. Her argument was valid as far as football analysis was concerned. Though I must admit that am still figuring out how she came to learn so much about football when all she does is watch soap operas. I have since banned her from going to ‘see her friend’ on Sundays. In the spirit of the handshake, I placed a bet of 3,000 shillings for Saudi Arabia. You all know what happened ladies and gentlemen. I lost and am still recovering. SportPesa ilichukua hiyo.

My second match was that of Germany versus Mexico. Germany is the defending champions. I told myself. I was remaining with 7,000 shillings. I consulted my ancestors and I had a feeling that they had given me a go ahead. I placed 3,000 shillings for Germany. When the match kicked off, it instantly dawned me that nilikuwa nimecheswa. The Mexicans were running faster than the Germans. That constant Donald Trump border patrols might have equipped them with running skills. They clobbered the Germans one. Once again, I lost. A man should not cry. I just cried from within but smiling from without.

The next match was between Brazil and Switzerland. “This time I will invest wisely. Sitaekelea yote. I must get something from SportPesa,” I told myself. I was for Brazil. “Brazil iko juu” the self-appointed opinion shaper and football analyst, one and the only, the lady of the house said. I placed a bet of 1,000 for Brazil. Ladies and gentlemen, you all know what happened, the boys had the audacity to draw 1:1. I lost.

Being a cautious ‘investor’, I restrained myself from investing in Nigeria. The Super Eagles were playing with Croatia. I refused to fall for their roaring cheering squad. I took a wise decision. They lost terribly. I saved that money for once. For Tunisia and England, my ancestors, in their own wisdom convinced me to place for a draw. Of course, ladies and gentlemen, nilipoteza bila kupingwa.

Meanwhile, people are making millions via SportPesa na mimi nimekaa tu. Am still watching my DStv and the Soap Operas are still suspended till further notice. All I need right now is that pig that has been predicting winners in Russia to give me the next move.

***

DStv and GOtv are airing all the 64 World Cup games. Stop waiting for those who are offering only 32 games. For those with good betting skills, go make some money on SportPesa while the World Cup lasts.

Juma is an enthusiastic journalist who believes that journalism has power to change the world either negatively or positively depending on how one uses it. (020) 528 0222 or Email: info@sokodirectory.com

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