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Entrepreneur's Corner

Silent Sex Struggles Married Entrepreneurs Go Through

BY Steve Biko Wafula · September 16, 2024 10:09 am

KEY POINTS

This post is strictly for the brave souls who juggle invoices and intimacy, business plans and bedroom gymnastics.

Let’s face it, fellow entrepreneurs, building a business empire is nothing compared to navigating the uncharted waters of marriage. If your company’s cash flow is giving you sleepless nights, wait until your spouse gives you that cold shoulder after a long day of sales meetings. Yes, folks, it’s time to talk about *sex struggles*. Because nothing says “entrepreneurial success” like balancing the art of seduction with your quarterly earnings report. Let’s dive into some challenges, shall we?

THE SPOUSE WHO THINKS SEX IS A FULL-TIME JOB… FOR YOU

You’ve built your startup from scratch, and now your spouse expects you to build stamina in the bedroom. If your spouse treats sex like a stock option they need to cash in daily, it can leave you feeling like a depleted IPO. Just remember, Proverbs 25:16 warns, “If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit.” Sex is great, but balance is better. Sometimes, date night can be Netflix and actual chill.

THE SPOUSE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE LOST THEIR “PASSWORD” TO INTIMACY: 

So, you’ve unlocked your business goals, but good luck finding the key to your spouse’s libido. The office stress might be high, but nothing’s worse than discovering your spouse has declared a permanent “Out of Service” on sex. Time for a heartfelt talk, my friend. Ecclesiastes reminds us, “Two are better than one, for they have a good reward for their labor.” Talk it out before your reward becomes a lonely bed.

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THE SMELL OF SUCCESS… OR NOT 

Nothing kills intimacy faster than a spouse who smells like they’ve been in the same shirt since their Series A funding. The Bible says, “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” (not really, but it’s a good saying). If your spouse is dodging showers like a tax audit, it’s time for an intervention. Suggest showering together, because let’s be real: there’s no better way to rekindle the romance than with a little soap and scrubbing.

LUST AND THE DANGERS OF ‘EXTERNAL INVESTORS 

You may have diversified your business, but diversifying your love life with secret DMs and flirtations is a bad investment. Lust is like a toxic shareholder—it demands more than it gives. Nip that temptation in the bud by focusing on the homegrown talent (your spouse). James 1:14 says, “But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire.” So, stop feeding lust like it’s your next startup, and focus on what’s in front of you.

UNMET SEXUAL EXPECTATIONS: THE FAILED PITCH 

There’s nothing worse than pitching your latest business idea and getting no traction. The same goes for the bedroom. You thought marriage meant your needs would be met, right? Well, it’s time to communicate, just like you’d present to an investor. Share your “intimate preferences” in a kind, non-pushy way. But remember, “Give, and it will be given to you” (Luke 6:38). Meet your spouse’s needs, and they might just meet yours too.

EX-LOVERS: BAD BUSINESS PARTNERS OF THE PAST; 

You’re trying to focus on your spouse, but memories of that ex who was a *bedroom star* keep creeping in. It’s like running a business but constantly thinking about that failed partnership. Proverbs 4:25 advises, “Let your eyes look directly forward.” Focus on the spouse in front of you, and leave the past where it belongs—in the dumpster fire of bad decisions.

PORNOGRAPHY: THE UNPROFITABLE DISTRACTION; 

Just like a bad investment, pornography eats away at your resources (emotional, not just financial). You’re running a business—do you really have time for this distraction? The Bible says, “Turn my eyes away from worthless things” (Psalm 119:37). Focus on the real deal—your spouse—and leave the pixelated fantasies behind. This is the one “delete history” you won’t regret.

MASTURBATION: WHEN YOU’RE OUTSOURCING PLEASURE; 

Here’s the thing, entrepreneurs love efficiency. But when it comes to intimacy, outsourcing to your fingers instead of engaging with your spouse is like choosing a cheaper supplier with subpar quality. Teach your spouse how to “meet the demand,” and remember, teamwork makes the dream work!

PERFORMANCE ISSUES: THE FAILED PRODUCT LAUNCH; 

If your product (ahem, *you*) isn’t performing as expected in the bedroom, relax. Anxiety is the enemy of success, whether you’re pitching to investors or your spouse. Take a deep breath, calm your mind, and focus on the moment. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was the perfect intimate experience.

OVERTHINKING WIVES AND THE MISSED ORGASM; 

Ladies, if you’re too busy thinking about whether you paid the chama or scheduled your hair appointment, intimacy will suffer. Entrepreneurs know that focus is key, and intimacy is no different. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything.” So, put the mental to-do list down and enjoy the moment. Your business isn’t going anywhere—yet.

PREMATURE EJACULATION: THE PRODUCT THAT’S TOO GOOD, TOO FAST; 

Gentlemen, if things are happening too quickly, remember—slow and steady wins the race. It’s not about speed, but endurance. Like any good business strategy, it’s about pacing. Shift gears when things get too intense, and you’ll look like a genius.

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LOW SELF-ESTEEM: BAD BRANDING; 

If you’re struggling with your body image, it’s time for a rebrand. You wouldn’t let your business be judged on one bad day, so don’t let your marriage suffer because you’re insecure. Embrace those stretch marks, sagging bits, and balding heads. If you love yourself, your spouse will too. Confidence is sexy, my friend.

AFFAIRS: UNAUTHORIZED PARTNERSHIPS; 

Nothing sinks a business faster than an unauthorized partnership, and affairs do the same for marriages. You’ll be too busy feeling guilty to focus on your spouse, and no one wins. Proverbs 5:18 wisely advises, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Stay loyal—it’s good for your health and your marriage’s bottom line.

COMPARING OTHER COUPLES: UNFAIR MARKET ANALYSIS; 

If you spend too much time hearing about other couples’ *wild successes* in bed, you’ll start questioning your own strategy. Every marriage is unique—stop comparing and start creating your own unforgettable moments. Your bedroom is not a market survey; it’s an exclusive partnership.

SEXUAL INVENTORY CHECK: MAKE IT A PRIORITY; 

Just like in business, regular audits are necessary. When was the last time you actually took stock of your sex life? Are you communicating? Are you meeting each other’s needs? If not, it’s time to recalibrate before things go completely off the rails.

Remember, dear entrepreneur, your business might be booming, but if your marriage is in the red, you’ll eventually pay the price.

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Steve Biko is the CEO OF Soko Directory and the founder of Hidalgo Group of Companies. Steve is currently developing his career in law, finance, entrepreneurship and digital consultancy; and has been implementing consultancy assignments for client organizations comprising of trainings besides capacity building in entrepreneurial matters. He can be reached on: +254 20 510 1124 or Email: info@sokodirectory.com

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